First, a big thank you and many hugs for all the birthday wishes! You all really made my day. 🙂
So I was chatting with a friend today and she was asking about my birthday. “How was it?” she asked.
“It worked,” I said. “I turned 40.”
I then went on to tell her, all kidding aside, it was truly a wonderful day. In all honesty, the best birthday ever. And why was that? Well, the answer is this:
I *decided* it would be a great day.
In the past…I have tended to be a tad-bit grouchy on my birthday. And this pattern goes back many, many years. My 16th birthday. Grouchy. My 21st birthday. Grouchy. Thirty. Morning sickness = grouchy. I’m not sure why I was so frequently a tad-bit grouchy on my birthday…I just was.
This year, I decided it would be different. (Instead of being grouchy *on* my birthday, I was grouchy for the first few days of May instead.) It’s true. I pondered and stewed and contemplated. Forty? Forty. Finally I decided, it was going to happen one way or another, so why not enjoy it?
I spent some time figuring out what would make me happy on my birthday. I had said for years I was going to have a *big* party on my 40th…but that thought, as the day drew near, was really not so appealing. Cleaning my house and making food all while opening myself up to “over the hill” gag gifts…I sensed grouchiness on the horizon.
I’ve also been around long enough (and have decluttered enough homes) to know it isn’t the *stuff* that makes for a happy birthday. Nope. A big birthday gift wasn’t going to stave off the grouchiness.
The thing that I knew would work was an afternoon of pampering. So I called. I made the appointment. And off to the spa I went for a 90 minute massage and a manicure. (Exact duration of the manicure is unknown…but did you catch the 90 minutes on the massage? Oh my heavens, this is truly the way to go.)
It was a wonderful day. Jay and Kailea made me my favorite cake. I got to talk to friends and family on the phone. Jay made me dinner. My sweet neighbor Lisa sent me an Edible Arrangement. There were other gifts involved. I got wonderfully sweet comments on my blog. It was a truly, truly special day.
I ended the day by writing thank you notes, which will be my second new tradition. (The spa thing…that ones sticking around, too.) It was wonderful to end my day focused on gratitude and expressing my thanks with those who celebrated my big day with me.
So I share all of this not to remind you once again of my age (I think this will be the last specific mention of it for at least ten years) but instead to remind you of two pathways to happiness that I rediscovered on my birthday.
The first is to take care of *you.* Happiness, my friends, is in our own hands (well, and the hands of the message therapist in this case.) But seriously, we have to decide what it is that will make us happy, and then set into motion a plan that will make it be. This took me many years and many grouchy birthdays to figure out.
The second pathway to happiness: gratitude.
With this holiday weekend upon us, first I want to say thank you to you. Thanks for reading my ramblings and celebrating my big birthday with me. Second, I want you to do something for you this weekend. Perhaps it’s some extra time scrapbooking, or a bubble bath, or a leisurely hour at the book store, or maybe even a (90 minute!) massage—just because. Simply do something for you. You deserve it AND it will feel great to get in the driver’s seat of your own happiness. If you take me up on my little challenge, or if you have favorite way to pamper yourself, please share. I’d love to hear how you celebrate YOU.
I always celebrate my birthday with some kind of pampering and this year was no exception. Yesterday I passed the florist and was struck by one of the displays they had. They had several Hyacinth which were surrounded in blue and purple wrapping. I was so struck by the display and the colours I stopped and bought one. As I was leaving the woman behind the counter asked if it was a gift for someone or for myself I said “blow anyone else, it’s all about me”. She laughed and said “you go girlfriend”. It smells devine and fingers crossed I don’t kill it.
Love this post. It is so true. I have spent hours being grumpy on holidays (mother’s day, anniversary, birthdays) because it didn’t meet me expectations. How awesome that YOU made it meet your expectations and then YOU relaxed and enjoyed it. For me, this would take a lot of pressure off of me and off of my lovely DH.
BTW: Tomorrow is my anniversary. Maybe we can go to the spa together! 🙂
Happy belated birthday, Aby! Sounds like the perfect birthday. My ‘pamper me’ for this weekend is time for myself. Not taking care of others, but taking care of me. That might involve cleaning, it might involve yardwork, but whatever, it will all be for ME! And I can’t wait! Have a wonderful holiday weekend for yourself and all your readers.
Happy Belated Birthday, I hope you had a great day. I love your blog, you give me much inspiration to try new crafts and the like. Thanks again.
This is it, my time for me, is right now. I turned off my phone and am scrapbooking all through the holiday, with just a few breaks for coffee and movies. Just what I needed after busy weeks.
hey aby… welcome to 40! somehow turning 40 was completely liberating for me- i wish for you the same feeling~
oh my thoughts on the grouchiness.. you’ve dreamed up how fabulous your b-day should be and then it’s not “perfect”.. the kids still fight, you would have chosen different flowers or frosting etc… my 2-cents…. have a little self-talk, lower your expectations, then continue making appts to the spa for yourself…it took me until 40 to figure all that out 😉
Cheers to you Aby!
Happy belated birthday! Sounds like you had a wonderful day. I love birthdays, but I’m always disappointed on my own. I guess I should learn to treat myself on my birthday the way I treat others on theirs! Great post. 🙂
I read this post while eating the last slice of a scrumptious birthday cake — chocolate with fresh strawberry cream in the middle from the best bakery in town (THE place to order wedding cakes). Friends surprised me with a dinner last night, gifts, and this cake. What a way to celebrate me. Now to focus on gratitude (but first let me lick my plate clean of every bit of icing).
I am on the tail end of 40 and I have to tell you, its fabulous! Enjoy each day and year. I am told by friends that if I thought the 40’s were fun, Fifties are exponentially better. Embrace 40!
Glad you did some pampering. Each year, my husband would take me for a weekend of mudbaths, massages and a wonderful meals. Pampering is the way to go! Wishing you much happiness!
I’m the opposite – I feel like I’ve always had great birthdays. I enjoy the time and the day, even if the day after leaves me feeling slightly deflated.
This year I’m not sure what I’ll do. I’ll be 30 in 11 days(!!!!!) and am trying to decide what will make me very happy. I know I’ll have my kids and a couple of nephews to take care of so what can I do with them that will be fun. I’m still thinking about that one. 🙂
PS LOVE the new design!
You are exactly right. Deciding to have a great day no matter what ends up with the result of having a great day.
I was dreading turning 40. I moved to the midwest three years ago after living in San Francisco for years. I emailed a few friends last fall to ask if they’d want to meet me in Vegas for my 40th birthday. Six of us made the plans and emailed about it for six months. The anticipation was so great.
Then last week I decided to have a great weekend no matter what – with five girls flying in just for me..how could I not be happy?! The weekend wasn’t perfect but it sure felt like it. I sighed with happiness and contentment more than once.
so yes – I agree. deciding to be happy has a big impact on your happiness level.